Finish the Tug of War – Part 1

In the case of divorcing parents, there should be one major target or line drawn in the sand and that is to continue to raise the children in the most affirmative way feasible. When that line is about to be crossed, both parties need to just cut out everything, meaning resentments, hurts, pains, and so the family can stay undamaged.

Regrettably when couples divorce their in life, they don’t realize they can keep their in child custody and parenting. After all, if they had stayed married, it wouldn’t even be an problem to make sure the kids were always taken custody of. One way or another when the of the marriage takes place, the of the children gets lost in the shuffle. All bets are off when pain and hurt and anger between parties proceed and often times the tug of war between couples leave children in the mud to fend for themselves.

scores of people come to me and , “I am trying to be a good parent but my ex is making it impossible!” Of course I have to acquiesce that there are scores of divorcing couples that have a lopsided alliance where one party is emotionally unstable and it makes it very tough to have an amicable partnership. But that doesn’t relieve the healthier partner from their responsibility to keep things helpful. After all, that is the only the kids have of coming out reasonably sane. Instead of laying blame on the more difficult parent, it is more important for the willing parent to lead by example and keep their behavior as pristine as possible, by no means fighting fire with fire or feeling justified by acting out.

There are scores of things you can execute or speak to make things worse in a , but there is usually only one way to make things better and that is to just stop the pulling, the resisting and the tension and just let go. Believe it or not, there is a higher part of yourself that will always know the right thing to do or articulate in any if you get out of your own way long enough to hear what “it” has to . When we struggle, pull, or push, we only get more defiance, but when we just release and empty ourselves of the struggle, we actually allow for new ideas, constructive energy, and new direction to come in. That is the way the Universe and energy works.

Read Part 2 of Tug of War for more divorce advice on how to cope when the other parent doesn’t want to put a stop to the game.

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