October is Domestic Violence Month, Remember the Children

Domestic violence is a byproduct of stress especially when we are talking about financial problems, and parents underestimate the effects this has on children. I was fortunate to use sports principles to get me through the pain of trying to stop my parents from nearly killing one another, but many children who witness domestic violence don't have any outlets. This is why I wrote "Sporting the Right Attitude: Lessons Learned in a Troubled Family" for young adults. Those who are exposed to this type of family life, or any obstacles can use this book as a tool to help them get over those difficulties.
The APA reports children exposed to domestic violence are more likely to exhibit behavioral and physical health problems including depression, anxiety, and violence towards peers. These children are also more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, run away from home, engage in teenage prostitution, and commit sexual assault crimes.
Parents have to realize that when there is domestic violence in the home, they risk getting their children taken away by Children's Social Services, because kids often get hurt during these family fights. Once that happens, it's hard to get them back, or not at all. Although many are good parents who simply lose their tempers during financial stresses, the system still looks at violence in the home as a safety issue for children. Parents have to find ways to work out their differences and control their anger.
Dr. Leonard Holmes suggests one way to reduce violence in a relationship is for the couple to agree on a nonverbal signal that either of them can use to signal "time-out" during a disagreement - when they are concerned that violence might occur. "Some couples use the time-out signal used in football; others agree to wave in a certain way," says Holmes. "It is important that the signal be nonverbal, because a verbal signal quickly becomes just another part of the argument. Gesturing with the middle finger, or other culturally derogatory signals are not recommended."
In our workshops, we teach Mindfulness, how to live in the moment to reduce stress. One of the components of Mindfulness is using your breath to control stress and anger. You simply follow the in breath and out breath. You can label your breathing to help you focus. Say: "Breathing in, I know I am breathing in." "Breathing out, I know I am breathing out." You can also label your breaths like this: "Breathing in," and "Breathing out." To shorten it more just say to yourself, "In" and "Out."
Your mind will want to carry you away, but just keep bringing it back gently like you would a small child who wanders off. Don't get frustrated with yourself. It's a new practice. That's why they call Mindfulness a practice. The perseverance is worth the effort because you will feel instantly calmer, and you will be able to focus and decide on the best actions for any challenges you may face. We have to do this for ourselves and for our family.
We think kids are resilient, and they'll bounce back from witnessing domestic violence, but that simply isn't true. On the surface they may seem fine, but like adults, they suppress their feelings and that pain comes out sooner or later in other harmful ways.
A lot of men especially feel badly that they are not able to support their families. But parents must not tie their self worth to their finances. If you feel you may get violent, find spiritual and/or mental health counseling help. There are free services available. And know that whatever you are going through, it will get better. Faith is the answer.

Article Source: http://casinoarticles.us

Link : Leslie Mitchell has been writing articles online for nearly 2 years now. Not only does this author specialize in Domestic Violence, you can also check out his latest website about: Dermatologist Acne Treatment Which reviews and lists the best Clearlight Acne Treatment

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