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Several Exceptionally Humorous Bar Jokes

By: Peter Rix

There's something regarding bars as well as drunks that appear to be the most common causeof jokes. Everyone has learned a comic story that begins "A gentleman walks into a bar" (and says Ouch!) and there is no doubt that drunkards tend to be very funny. Therefore listed here are a couple of pub jokes that you may not have heard before, however they really are all extremely witty, I assure you!

THE CRAZY BET WITH THE BARMAN
A chap walks up to the barman and affirms, "Do you see that glass over there in the corner? I'll wager you £20 that I can piss inside it from here!" The barman says okay, since the glass is miles way over at the other section of the pub.

Thus the gentleman unzips and whips it out, then pisses in a million diverse directions, coming nowhere even adjacent to the shot glass. Meanwhile the bartender's chuckling so hard he can barely breathe.

"Pay up," gasps the bartender, and contentedly takes the money.
Meanwhile the gentleman pays up, and strolls over and takes £200 from a third ---------------- playing pool.

The bartender calls him back and demands, "Why would that guy give you the money?"

And the first man says, "'Cause I bet him £200 that I can piss all over your pub and you would merely laugh about it!"

SEXY LADY IN A QUIET LOCAL BAR
A very good-looking lady goes up to the bar in a quiet local pub.

She gestures alluringly in the direction of the barman, who comes over right away. After he arrives, she seductively signals for him to bring his face close to hers. After he does so, she begins to gently stroke his beard, which is full and bushy.

"Are you the boss she asks, tenderly stroking his face with both hands.

"Actually, no" he replies.

"Can you get him for me -- I must to speak to him." She is running her hands up past his beard and into his hair.

"I'm afraid that I can't," breathes the barman, openly aroused. "Is there anything I can do?"

"Yes, there is. I need you to give him a message," she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his lips and permitting him to suck them gently.

"Tell him that there is no toilet paper in the ladies room."

THE GUINNESS BOSS AT THE BEER CONFERENCE
After the Great British Beer Festival, in England, all the international brewery presidents chose to go out for a beer.

The man from Corona sits down and affirms, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The barman dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser states, "I'd like the most excellent beer in the world, hand over me 'The Queen Of Beers', a Budweiser." The barman supplies him one.

The chap from Coors says, "I'd like the solitary beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He takes it.
The man from Guinness sits down and states, "Give me an orange juice."

The bartender is a little flabbergasted, however supplies him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents glare over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies: "Well, I guess if you guys are having soft drinks, then so will I."

Article Source: http://casinoarticles.us

My name is Pat McLachlan, and I have a Home Brewing website and another for Online Jokes! So this article is perfect to promote both websites!

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